I had an epiphany today with the help of a good friend. I have been writing to this blog for about 2 months. The original reason for this blog was for educational purposes for family, friends and even people I do not know from far away. As I began this journey I was not sure where God was going to lead me or how He was going to use me. It started to become clear to me as everywhere I went there seemed to be someone who was interested/looking to/considering adoption but just did not know where to start. I started thinking "What stage can I use to help people with adoption questions?" Then I met Kathryn at church. She works in the adoption world and knows the in's and out's. We formed a team and are working on setting up a group at church that meets quarterly to discuss adoption. We are both very excited about this endeavor. So, that kinda fixes my need and want to help people with adoption.
Everytime I write a new blog I send our family members and close friends an email that just lets them know a new blog has been written. I also make a posting on Facebook so our friends can look if they want to. I do this because this blog is probably not something most people check daily. I have been wondering why the comments, questions, and messages suddenly stopped about 6 weeks ago. It was brought to my attention that this blog could be seen as a diary. Most people do not know what to say or write if they think its a diary. I did just want to be upfront and honest and let everyone know this is not a diary/journal/private deal. This is meant for everyone to enjoy, document, learn, and fellowship with. Please send us your comments, prayers, and questions. To me the biggest need, other than prayers, are encouraging words. Sometimes this journey can have its up's and down's. We need all the encouraging words we can get. :)
I hope that after September 30th this blog will start becoming more interesting with start of the real deal: Home Study. We are excited to get this going, but we have a lot to do before then.
This is one of my favorite Bible verses and my personal favorite book of The Bible.
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
Jonathan and Shelly
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Garage sale 8/27/11
Our good friends Damon and Kate wanted to help raise money towards the adoption and we came up with the idea of a garage sale. Why not have a HUGE garage sale and get people to donate items for the sale with all proceeds going to the adoption? Sounds easy enough. The donations have been rolling in and as of right now I have a car full of stuff that was donated today by co-workers. Damon and Kate have stuff for the garage sale and people they know are willing to help as well. I just can not believe this is going to happen. We are so blessed to have people in our lives that truly care.
If you or someone you know has items to donate please let us know. We can meet you somewhere or come to your house to pick it up. The garage sale is Saturday August 27th starting at 7:00 AM in Grand Praire. Damon and Kate have graciously offered their home up for this awesome fundraiser.
I have people willing to pick up if you live in North Fort Worth, Saginaw, Bedford, Keller, Grand Praire, Irving, and Carrolton. We can arrange meet up's in between too. Please let us know if you can help. Every little bit helps. Thank you!
If you want cupcakes please let me know. I will have some out there for sale. I am not sure of the number of cupcakes, but I will at least have 50 unless people order in which case I will have more.
Thank you!
If you or someone you know has items to donate please let us know. We can meet you somewhere or come to your house to pick it up. The garage sale is Saturday August 27th starting at 7:00 AM in Grand Praire. Damon and Kate have graciously offered their home up for this awesome fundraiser.
I have people willing to pick up if you live in North Fort Worth, Saginaw, Bedford, Keller, Grand Praire, Irving, and Carrolton. We can arrange meet up's in between too. Please let us know if you can help. Every little bit helps. Thank you!
If you want cupcakes please let me know. I will have some out there for sale. I am not sure of the number of cupcakes, but I will at least have 50 unless people order in which case I will have more.
Thank you!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Being "In On It"
Back in one of my first blog posts I put a book called In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption; A Guide for Relatives and Friends. I have "liked" the Adoptive Families page on Facebook and they posted a quick run down of the book by the author. I call it the Cliffs Notes. If you have not read the book this is a great run down for you all. I am not a big reader, so I appreciate little things like these. If you have any questions please let us know. We know that both of our families have dealt with adoption in the past, but it may have been awhile. I get questions everyday about adoption and "Why are you adopting? Can you not have children of your own?" even down to "Are you culturally able to have a bi-racial child?" You may think that is a personal question and IT IS! I find that people have more nerve to ask such personal questions more than they should. So its great to read things like this. I hope you all read below.
5 Things You Need to Know If Your Kids Are Adopting
When my husband and I announced to our parents our decision to adopt our first child, their reactions ranged from, "Great, when can I babysit?" to "Why would you want to do something like that?" The less-than-enthusiastic responses surprised me at the time, but I understand them better now. After all, my husband and I had had years to embrace this path to parenthood, while these soon-to-be grandparents were reacting – honestly – to something that was new and unfamiliar and, for one or two of them, a bit uncomfortable. Whether you're immediately thrilled by the news of an impending adoption, or feeling some cautiousness – or even reluctance – about your adult child's decision, you're likely to have some questions.
Here are five important things every new adoptive grandparent needs to know:
1. Adoption has changed
Consider how adoption used to be practiced. There was an emphasis on separation, even secrecy. You may have once known a pregnant girl who "went away" and came back months later, childless and expected to resume her life where she'd left off. Some children were never even told they were adopted. Parents who adopted transracially were counseled to try to minimize or ignore the child's differences as much as possible. These practices were once considered best for everyone.Today, the values of information and communication, for all participants, are paramount. Adoption is almost never a secret. Birth cultures, birth families, and birth countries often have an ongoing role in our families. Parents who adopt transracially are encouraged to acknowledge differences and to try to support a child's ethnic identity. These are significant changes, and they may be unfamiliar to people whose concept of adoption is based on past practices or media portrayals. It makes sense to have questions and concerns.Try to educate yourself about contemporary adoption. Read books and articles, visit websites, or attend information meetings. Gathering up-to-date, accurate information not only makes you better prepared; it's also a way to demonstrate your interest and support for your loved ones – even if you still have reservations.
2. You may need time to get comfortable with adoption. Adoption may be new to you – just as it was at one point to the new parents. You may need time and space to prepare for an unexpected path to grandparenthood. It's not at all uncommon for grandparents or other family members to have imagined and anticipated a very different child or experience. We adoptive parents typically need time to get comfortable and ready for adoption ourselves. The lengthy process – paperwork, training, decision-making, and waiting – helps to prepare us. As grandparents, you may need to (gently) remind your loved ones to extend to you the same time, education, and preparation that they, as adoptive parents, had. Many of your questions or concerns no doubt stem from feelings of love and an urge to protect the adoptive parents. But even the most enthusiastic and supportive grandparent can benefit from more information. Explain this to your loved ones. Then have some discussions with them about their adoption plans, asking and listening in equal measure.
3. You will be asked questions, too. One morning, as my mom was taking a walk with my daughter, her neighbor approached her and asked, "How'd she get so brown?" When my mom told me about the incident later, she said that when my husband and I adopted, she'd figured we'd get plenty of questions and comments about the children and about adoption. But she hadn't expected to be answering questions herself. It hadn't occurred to me, either, that other people close to my family might find themselves speaking on behalf of adoption and our children. They deserve to feel prepared to do so.You, too, may find yourself fielding unexpected questions or comments at preschool pick-up or while walking through the grocery store with your new grandchild. Over time, your adopted grandchild may approach you with questions or a desire to talk about his or her adoption. You need information and guidelines to do so. Discuss with your grandchild's parents the kinds of questions people ask about adoption (How much did she cost? What is she? Is she adopted?) and how they'd like you to respond. Understand the family's boundaries regarding privacy – especially the child's. Remember that the most important listener is always the child. Frame any comments for the child's benefit above all.
4. You can have a role.Relatives of adoptive parents often ask how they can help or show their support. It's a good question. Since so much of the adoption process can only be completed by the adopting parents, much happens independent of other family members who might otherwise be very involved in such a life-altering experience. Even that most traditional of ways we welcome a child – the baby shower – gets complicated when age, size, gender, language, and arrival date may still be a mystery. But even though some aspects of this path to parenthood look different, adoption still can be very much a shared experience.Practical ways to help include: donating air miles for adoption-related travel; offering breaks and babysitting to the new parents; making donations to child welfare or adoption organizations; or simply discussing current events from a child's birth country. More personal ways to help include seeking out other perspectives on adoption, especially those of birthparents and adult adoptees, and acting as an ambassador for adoption through your own words and attitude. Remain positive and engaged. Listen without judgment to your child, who is in the midst of a challenging personal experience. These demonstrations of love and support will be welcomed – and remembered.
5. You have a lot to look forward to.I sometimes think of adoption as being in on a really good secret. Whenever I see a family like mine, I'm always tempted to approach the parents and whisper something like, "Can you believe this? Isn't it great?" And I can tell from the pleased and proud faces of doting adoptive grandparents that this insight usually extends to them, as well. To participate in an adoption is a privilege. There are particular experiences and insights to which you will now be privy. Like any worthwhile experience, adoption will challenge you and even change you. In the words of one adoptive grandfather: "Every child gladdens your heart. What happens after a child comes into the family is just as important as how they arrived into it." This is where you, both a parent and grandparent, come in.
5 Things You Need to Know If Your Kids Are Adopting
When my husband and I announced to our parents our decision to adopt our first child, their reactions ranged from, "Great, when can I babysit?" to "Why would you want to do something like that?" The less-than-enthusiastic responses surprised me at the time, but I understand them better now. After all, my husband and I had had years to embrace this path to parenthood, while these soon-to-be grandparents were reacting – honestly – to something that was new and unfamiliar and, for one or two of them, a bit uncomfortable. Whether you're immediately thrilled by the news of an impending adoption, or feeling some cautiousness – or even reluctance – about your adult child's decision, you're likely to have some questions.
Here are five important things every new adoptive grandparent needs to know:
1. Adoption has changed
Consider how adoption used to be practiced. There was an emphasis on separation, even secrecy. You may have once known a pregnant girl who "went away" and came back months later, childless and expected to resume her life where she'd left off. Some children were never even told they were adopted. Parents who adopted transracially were counseled to try to minimize or ignore the child's differences as much as possible. These practices were once considered best for everyone.Today, the values of information and communication, for all participants, are paramount. Adoption is almost never a secret. Birth cultures, birth families, and birth countries often have an ongoing role in our families. Parents who adopt transracially are encouraged to acknowledge differences and to try to support a child's ethnic identity. These are significant changes, and they may be unfamiliar to people whose concept of adoption is based on past practices or media portrayals. It makes sense to have questions and concerns.Try to educate yourself about contemporary adoption. Read books and articles, visit websites, or attend information meetings. Gathering up-to-date, accurate information not only makes you better prepared; it's also a way to demonstrate your interest and support for your loved ones – even if you still have reservations.
2. You may need time to get comfortable with adoption. Adoption may be new to you – just as it was at one point to the new parents. You may need time and space to prepare for an unexpected path to grandparenthood. It's not at all uncommon for grandparents or other family members to have imagined and anticipated a very different child or experience. We adoptive parents typically need time to get comfortable and ready for adoption ourselves. The lengthy process – paperwork, training, decision-making, and waiting – helps to prepare us. As grandparents, you may need to (gently) remind your loved ones to extend to you the same time, education, and preparation that they, as adoptive parents, had. Many of your questions or concerns no doubt stem from feelings of love and an urge to protect the adoptive parents. But even the most enthusiastic and supportive grandparent can benefit from more information. Explain this to your loved ones. Then have some discussions with them about their adoption plans, asking and listening in equal measure.
3. You will be asked questions, too. One morning, as my mom was taking a walk with my daughter, her neighbor approached her and asked, "How'd she get so brown?" When my mom told me about the incident later, she said that when my husband and I adopted, she'd figured we'd get plenty of questions and comments about the children and about adoption. But she hadn't expected to be answering questions herself. It hadn't occurred to me, either, that other people close to my family might find themselves speaking on behalf of adoption and our children. They deserve to feel prepared to do so.You, too, may find yourself fielding unexpected questions or comments at preschool pick-up or while walking through the grocery store with your new grandchild. Over time, your adopted grandchild may approach you with questions or a desire to talk about his or her adoption. You need information and guidelines to do so. Discuss with your grandchild's parents the kinds of questions people ask about adoption (How much did she cost? What is she? Is she adopted?) and how they'd like you to respond. Understand the family's boundaries regarding privacy – especially the child's. Remember that the most important listener is always the child. Frame any comments for the child's benefit above all.
4. You can have a role.Relatives of adoptive parents often ask how they can help or show their support. It's a good question. Since so much of the adoption process can only be completed by the adopting parents, much happens independent of other family members who might otherwise be very involved in such a life-altering experience. Even that most traditional of ways we welcome a child – the baby shower – gets complicated when age, size, gender, language, and arrival date may still be a mystery. But even though some aspects of this path to parenthood look different, adoption still can be very much a shared experience.Practical ways to help include: donating air miles for adoption-related travel; offering breaks and babysitting to the new parents; making donations to child welfare or adoption organizations; or simply discussing current events from a child's birth country. More personal ways to help include seeking out other perspectives on adoption, especially those of birthparents and adult adoptees, and acting as an ambassador for adoption through your own words and attitude. Remain positive and engaged. Listen without judgment to your child, who is in the midst of a challenging personal experience. These demonstrations of love and support will be welcomed – and remembered.
5. You have a lot to look forward to.I sometimes think of adoption as being in on a really good secret. Whenever I see a family like mine, I'm always tempted to approach the parents and whisper something like, "Can you believe this? Isn't it great?" And I can tell from the pleased and proud faces of doting adoptive grandparents that this insight usually extends to them, as well. To participate in an adoption is a privilege. There are particular experiences and insights to which you will now be privy. Like any worthwhile experience, adoption will challenge you and even change you. In the words of one adoptive grandfather: "Every child gladdens your heart. What happens after a child comes into the family is just as important as how they arrived into it." This is where you, both a parent and grandparent, come in.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Bullet Point Updates
I have not blogged in about 10 days about what is going on. The whole reason for this blog is to update family members, friends and to document this whole process. Plenty has happened, but I just need to write it all down so you know what is going on. I will bullet point some things I would like to share.
* I was baptised on 7/17/11! I was very nervous because there were a lot of people at church that day. I had about 20 people come to my baptism and that is not even including our life group. I am so incredibly blessed to have so many people who love and care about me.
*Jonathan left on Monday for San Antonio. He received the call from his boss and he had to leave immediately. I kind of expected that would happen. I really miss him, but it gets a bit easier as time goes on. Right now its just me and Harley. He really is a good friend to have as he always listens, never talks back, and makes me laugh. Harley is doing better by the way.
*I have been convicted to mission to couples in our church using education on adoption to help couples who have questions on the subject. Kathryn and I met with a church leader at 121 CC, Diane Lee, regarding it. Kathryn is the director of the agency that we are going through and also goes to our church. She knows so much about adoption! What a great team. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
* Another mission I am working on is local. A friend from Life Group set us up to go to a local Senior Citizens home in Bedford called La Dora. We will be going there at least twice a month to talk to the people who are there who may just need a friend to talk to. This Friday will be our first trip. Many of the elderly just want a fresh face to talk to or hear what is going on in the outside world. This is an excellent opportunity to take time out of our busy schedules to go and make someones day!
*We have a lot of things left to do on the check list before we do our orientation with the agency. Please keep us in your prayers that these things get done and with ease. It is a very large amount of work including an online class that we BOTH have to take, and CPR/FIRST AID certs for both of us. Luckily, my employer gets us certified every 2 years so I have mine. Jonathan will have to go get his, but we have all the information on a class that is the second Saturday of each month for $30. Not to shabby.
*My sister and I will be working on the back room this weekend that will become the nursery. We are removing everything but the bed. That way when Jonathan gets back from Dallas Cowboy training camp we can paint and decorate. We have decided on Owls as the theme for nursery. That is gender neutral and SUPER cute. Here is kind of what I am thinking: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=owl+nursery&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4GGLG_enUS307US307&biw=1360&bih=478&tbm=isch&tbnid=oca-xYyCTnjc-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/owls-and-alphabet-nursery.html&docid=9J0u7dqcjVKMvM&w=300&h=400&ei=N10xTrfYJMi3tgeD8I3pDA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=219&page=6&tbnh=156&tbnw=117&start=73&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:73&tx=97&ty=63
Hopefully I can find things that would look cute in the nursery. Goal is to have it completed or near completion by 9/30/11. We both would like it done before the home study. SO very excited.
*Names for the baby have been a big topic around the Hollons of Watauga house. We both have very different tastes when it comes to that. Jonathan likes the traditional names, while I like the different out of the norm names. We have a few names that we love for a girl, but not so much for a boy. We have agreed we like the name Pepper for a girl. I have since fallen in love with that name, and it is a perfect name for Jonathan to add the sweet nickname of Peppy to her list of nicknames. Yesterday I was trying to think of a middle name for Pepper. Nothing sounded right at all. I came across Katrice. Its greek for pure. Tori said "that is super cute, you can call her P.K." How cute right? P.K.! Jonathan liked the list of boy names I sent him via email since he has been in San Antonio. Eli, Evan, Timothy, Perry and Lawrence. I am sure we will come up with the perfect name.
* I was baptised on 7/17/11! I was very nervous because there were a lot of people at church that day. I had about 20 people come to my baptism and that is not even including our life group. I am so incredibly blessed to have so many people who love and care about me.
*Jonathan left on Monday for San Antonio. He received the call from his boss and he had to leave immediately. I kind of expected that would happen. I really miss him, but it gets a bit easier as time goes on. Right now its just me and Harley. He really is a good friend to have as he always listens, never talks back, and makes me laugh. Harley is doing better by the way.
*I have been convicted to mission to couples in our church using education on adoption to help couples who have questions on the subject. Kathryn and I met with a church leader at 121 CC, Diane Lee, regarding it. Kathryn is the director of the agency that we are going through and also goes to our church. She knows so much about adoption! What a great team. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
* Another mission I am working on is local. A friend from Life Group set us up to go to a local Senior Citizens home in Bedford called La Dora. We will be going there at least twice a month to talk to the people who are there who may just need a friend to talk to. This Friday will be our first trip. Many of the elderly just want a fresh face to talk to or hear what is going on in the outside world. This is an excellent opportunity to take time out of our busy schedules to go and make someones day!
*We have a lot of things left to do on the check list before we do our orientation with the agency. Please keep us in your prayers that these things get done and with ease. It is a very large amount of work including an online class that we BOTH have to take, and CPR/FIRST AID certs for both of us. Luckily, my employer gets us certified every 2 years so I have mine. Jonathan will have to go get his, but we have all the information on a class that is the second Saturday of each month for $30. Not to shabby.
*My sister and I will be working on the back room this weekend that will become the nursery. We are removing everything but the bed. That way when Jonathan gets back from Dallas Cowboy training camp we can paint and decorate. We have decided on Owls as the theme for nursery. That is gender neutral and SUPER cute. Here is kind of what I am thinking: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=owl+nursery&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4GGLG_enUS307US307&biw=1360&bih=478&tbm=isch&tbnid=oca-xYyCTnjc-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/owls-and-alphabet-nursery.html&docid=9J0u7dqcjVKMvM&w=300&h=400&ei=N10xTrfYJMi3tgeD8I3pDA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=219&page=6&tbnh=156&tbnw=117&start=73&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:73&tx=97&ty=63
Hopefully I can find things that would look cute in the nursery. Goal is to have it completed or near completion by 9/30/11. We both would like it done before the home study. SO very excited.
*Names for the baby have been a big topic around the Hollons of Watauga house. We both have very different tastes when it comes to that. Jonathan likes the traditional names, while I like the different out of the norm names. We have a few names that we love for a girl, but not so much for a boy. We have agreed we like the name Pepper for a girl. I have since fallen in love with that name, and it is a perfect name for Jonathan to add the sweet nickname of Peppy to her list of nicknames. Yesterday I was trying to think of a middle name for Pepper. Nothing sounded right at all. I came across Katrice. Its greek for pure. Tori said "that is super cute, you can call her P.K." How cute right? P.K.! Jonathan liked the list of boy names I sent him via email since he has been in San Antonio. Eli, Evan, Timothy, Perry and Lawrence. I am sure we will come up with the perfect name.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake
We have been very blessed by everyone contributing to our adoption. I can not believe the amounts that are coming in from everyone around my job. It is so cool to know that everyone believes in what we are doing and are giving during hard times like these.
I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who is helping out with our cause and every penny counts. We are so excited!
Please see the pictures on the right side of the page of the cupcakes I am making. I will add pictures as I can to show you what is going on in the cupcake world.
Love you all.
I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who is helping out with our cause and every penny counts. We are so excited!
Please see the pictures on the right side of the page of the cupcakes I am making. I will add pictures as I can to show you what is going on in the cupcake world.
Love you all.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Excellent News
We were preliminarily accepted yesterday morning by Christian Families and Home Services in North Richland Hills. We are registered to attend the 2 day orientation at their home office in Abilene at the end of September. This is SUCH a huge blessing and we are so happy that we have finally found the right agency. God really did show us the way. Dont they say when a door closes another one will open? Well, this door swung open full force! We are so excited. :)
There is lots to do for both Jonathan and I before we go to orientation. Wish us luck that we can get some of it done. It does not ALL have to be done, but the sooner we do it the sooner we can adopt. I am so excited for this all to take place. Jonathan was very excited when I gave him the good news too.
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake is in full swing on my end. I have not heard from any other Angel Bakers on their progress but maybe soon I will. Donations seem to be coming in from everywhere and we have been blessed already in so many ways. Thank you to everyone who has helped with that already. I pray that it continues to grow and prosper.
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
There is lots to do for both Jonathan and I before we go to orientation. Wish us luck that we can get some of it done. It does not ALL have to be done, but the sooner we do it the sooner we can adopt. I am so excited for this all to take place. Jonathan was very excited when I gave him the good news too.
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake is in full swing on my end. I have not heard from any other Angel Bakers on their progress but maybe soon I will. Donations seem to be coming in from everywhere and we have been blessed already in so many ways. Thank you to everyone who has helped with that already. I pray that it continues to grow and prosper.
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Changes Ahead
Change: a variation or deviation
I am a book of changes. Have you ever heard that before? Well, I am here to tell you that with this adoption process there are many questions I am learning to ask agencies, and people regarding adoption. It seems like there is something new to learn just about everyday.
We have changed our minds regarding the agency in Austin. They only had 2 adoptions last year and 5 active families. We fear that we will be waiting for many years for a baby if we go that route. We were at a fish fry on Saturday with some fellow 121 Community Church members and one of the staff members over heard me talking about our struggle with find the right agency. She told me about a women who is in her small group who is the driector of Christian Family and Home Services in North Richland Hills. That is about 10 minutes from our house in Watauga. Jonathan and I were actually able to meet with her at our church on Sunday just after service. It was so nice to actually speak to someone face to face rather than through a phone or email.
We shall see what this new place brings us. We really feel this is where we should be going. Its so hard to make a decision, but it is what is best for our family.
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake update:
I started my cupcake fundraising at Riata Therapy Specialists here at my job in Bedford. I am bringing fresh cupcakes on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays. It appears to be working out thus far. Thank you to all who have donated. Your donations are greatly appreciated. Thank you to Riata for allowing me to have my fundraiser.
Love to you all!
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