Our approval is under way. I can hardly contain my excitement to finally be officially waiting on our little one. The agency has assured me that we will be approved this week and our bio will be up on the website. We can not wait to finally be active. I think now that we do not have any paperwork to fill out I have been feeling a little antsy. I have started buying a few outfits at local resale shops. It occurred to me that if we get a call we will not have anything for him/her to wear. It makes sense to me that we at least have a couple gender neutral clothes on hand. I am going to try to find a diaper bag, and a few receiving blankets as well in the next few days. I just have to be sure not to get ahead of myself. It could still be a long road.
While I was looking for adoption grants I came across a website called AdoptionBug.com. It’s a company that sales Christian adoption shirts with a commission going to the couple of the buyers choosing. She will set us up a store with our pre-picked shirts. This company has many great shirts to choose from but we had to only choose 6 for our store. The shirts that are in our store will be the shirts we get a commission on. She will give us a link to our store so we can send it out over blogs and Facebook or Twitter. If any of our friends and family to choose to purchase a shirt from our store a commission will come to us for use on the adoption. I hope you all can purchase a shirt in the next few weeks. They range from $22-$25. This store should be up by THIS FRIDAY March 23, 2012. I will let everyone know as soon as I get the links so they can go check it out.
Hope to have some really good news over all by Friday. Have a great week!
Jonathan and Shelly
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Need Help Fundraising
Our friends Kenneth and Lili Lane came up with a wonderful and easy fundraising idea. Lili made the above flyer it from a picture that our friend Sarah Halferty took at Christmas time. The flyer itself is a 3x5 and fits into a sandwich sized Zip Lock baggie. She made 300 of these little baggies to hand out to folks who want to help fundraise for us. The idea is for those who wish to help to take as many bags as they think they can fill. So if you know 3 people who are able to donate $20 you would take 3 bags. If you want to take 10 bags that is even better!If you live in another city I can mail you these bags and I will include a stamped envelope for you to return the money in. No cost to you. All you have to do is ask your friends, neighbors, co-workers if they are able to donate $20 towards our adoption. If we work together the $6000 will come together rather quickly.
If you are able to help fundraise please email me at Shelly.Hollon@gmail.com with your name, address and how many bags you would like to take. If you are in the Hurst, Euless, Bedford, Keller or Watauga area I can meet up with you in person. If you live outside of that I will mail them to you.
Thank you SO much for helping out with our adoption. We appreciate any help anyone can give.
God Bless.
"God sets the solitary in families" Psalm 68:6
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Weird or Coincidental?
After our adoption orientation in October I had this really strong feeling that the birth mother of our future baby had conceived. I told a few friends this and told my mother in law what I thought. Some thought it was a little strange, but then again I am a strange bird. I have always been told I am sensitive to people's feelings and might be a little over sensitive to others emotions. I just had this strange feeling that our baby is already conceived and a birth mom is pregnant out there with our child.
Jonathan and I have been joking in private that we will most likely get a baby when he is in California for Dallas Cowboys training camp. Not that that is a problem, but you know how it goes. Just as an example: you want that new job that pays more you do not get the phone call you have been waiting on so you decide to go on vacation out of the state. Just as you are getting on the plane that employer calls and wants you to start tomorrow or you are already in that state and get the call. Luckily, Jonathan's employer is great and willing to fly him home if that is the case.
Then something weird happened last night. Our friend Loyd looked right at me and said " I had a vision that your baby was born on August 9th." I looked at Jonathan and asked him if he had told Loyd about our "funny inside joke" that we would get a baby in August. He said no he had not told him. On a side not, I think people who have visions are tied into their faith greater than most. They see things differently than people who do not have visions. I hope one day to be one of the few people I have met who have visions. It was just all to weird that Loyd had said that.
I got home last night and got ready for bed. I started thinking back to what Loyd said then remembered back to last October. August 9 is exactly 10 months or 40 weeks from last October when I had first thought our baby was conceived. I get chill bumps thinking about this. Of course I am not putting all of my hope into this date at all. I just think its interesting how things work together and can come full circle. Weird or Coincidental?
Jonathan and I have been joking in private that we will most likely get a baby when he is in California for Dallas Cowboys training camp. Not that that is a problem, but you know how it goes. Just as an example: you want that new job that pays more you do not get the phone call you have been waiting on so you decide to go on vacation out of the state. Just as you are getting on the plane that employer calls and wants you to start tomorrow or you are already in that state and get the call. Luckily, Jonathan's employer is great and willing to fly him home if that is the case.
Then something weird happened last night. Our friend Loyd looked right at me and said " I had a vision that your baby was born on August 9th." I looked at Jonathan and asked him if he had told Loyd about our "funny inside joke" that we would get a baby in August. He said no he had not told him. On a side not, I think people who have visions are tied into their faith greater than most. They see things differently than people who do not have visions. I hope one day to be one of the few people I have met who have visions. It was just all to weird that Loyd had said that.
I got home last night and got ready for bed. I started thinking back to what Loyd said then remembered back to last October. August 9 is exactly 10 months or 40 weeks from last October when I had first thought our baby was conceived. I get chill bumps thinking about this. Of course I am not putting all of my hope into this date at all. I just think its interesting how things work together and can come full circle. Weird or Coincidental?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Home Study part 2
This morning we had the pleasure of meeting with our social worker Amy for part 2 of the home study. The majority of the meeting was to discuss some of the questions we may have had from last week. We also had an opportunity to discuss our photo album and financial questions we had plus any concerns. Amy was so gracious to discuss and willing to lead us in the right direction. I love that she is always available for us and even lives right down the road if we need her. What a blessing.
We spent quite awhile discussing our options and she through some "what if's" into the equation that we had not that about before. I had never thought of a potential birth mother who may have to take a medication during her pregnancy. Since we are adopting it is going to be hard to place stipulations on the birth mother regarding medications. Sometimes these medications, for example for a mental disorder such as depression, must be taken during pregnancy. I have been thinking on this and the only thing that came to my mind was God is in control. We have really left this whole thing in God's hands. Why start now placing stipulations on the birth mother? Since the beginning we said this was in God's hands. This is where I am right now in regards to the medication. Of course, in the end we have the right to say no to a birth mom if she has a diagnosis we are not comfortable dealing with. God will lead us in that. We just have to leave it in control of Him.
We also discussed our families again. Jonathan showed Amy a sample of our photo album. We just wanted to make sure we were on the right path on how to assemble the album. She loved it and loved how creative Jonathan was with the theme. He took a clip art pacifier and turned 4 of them different colors. Pink, Blue, Purple and Green. Then arranged them on a page then placed pictures around those pacifiers. I would say we are about half way through with the album. Well, really Jonathan. :) He head up that project in the end. He is very good with Microsoft Publisher.
After that we gave her a tour of our house. She said we were "very creative" people. She loved all of the art in the house and all of Jonathan's photo's we have in the living room. After giving her the back ground on all of the art and pictures in the house it started to feel like we were in an art gallery and we were the curators. It kind of made me laugh because at one time Jonathan was telling Amy about his photo collection of "people who work with their hands". I never realized how many pictures we have of people's hands around our house. I need to be more observant. Sorry honey I never realized that before or maybe I forgot? I plead the fifth? We showed Amy the nursery. She absolutely loved the furniture we chose out. She said it was perfect and could not wait for us to have a baby. For those of you who have been to our house and have seen our guest bathroom, it has blue walls and a silver disco-esk shower curtain, Amy loved the bathroom. That is so funny to say that because I think it is one of my favorite rooms of our house too. I was just thinking that the other day. When we came to look at this house it was the first thing I saw that I loved. It reminds me of a artsy bar for some reason. She loved Shane Kislack's "Window into New York" that we have hanging in there. It is literally a picture Shane took placed into a old window sill. He gave it to us for a house warming gift. It is funny because we had so many stories to share with Amy about our art. It was so cool that she let us share them with her.
After that it was over. No more questions, no more looking around. I did send Amy home with 5 red velvet Valentines cupcakes. Not trying to butter her up, but I did want her to know about our fundraiser Cupcakes for Our Cupcake. She loved it and was so glad that we made something for her and her family. We are so glad that the home study is behind us. I think for now we want to just relax and wait for what is next. No more worrying. Just relax and let it be. Like Bob Marley said "Don't worry about a thing, cuz every little thing is going to be alright!"
Love to you all!
We spent quite awhile discussing our options and she through some "what if's" into the equation that we had not that about before. I had never thought of a potential birth mother who may have to take a medication during her pregnancy. Since we are adopting it is going to be hard to place stipulations on the birth mother regarding medications. Sometimes these medications, for example for a mental disorder such as depression, must be taken during pregnancy. I have been thinking on this and the only thing that came to my mind was God is in control. We have really left this whole thing in God's hands. Why start now placing stipulations on the birth mother? Since the beginning we said this was in God's hands. This is where I am right now in regards to the medication. Of course, in the end we have the right to say no to a birth mom if she has a diagnosis we are not comfortable dealing with. God will lead us in that. We just have to leave it in control of Him.
We also discussed our families again. Jonathan showed Amy a sample of our photo album. We just wanted to make sure we were on the right path on how to assemble the album. She loved it and loved how creative Jonathan was with the theme. He took a clip art pacifier and turned 4 of them different colors. Pink, Blue, Purple and Green. Then arranged them on a page then placed pictures around those pacifiers. I would say we are about half way through with the album. Well, really Jonathan. :) He head up that project in the end. He is very good with Microsoft Publisher.
After that we gave her a tour of our house. She said we were "very creative" people. She loved all of the art in the house and all of Jonathan's photo's we have in the living room. After giving her the back ground on all of the art and pictures in the house it started to feel like we were in an art gallery and we were the curators. It kind of made me laugh because at one time Jonathan was telling Amy about his photo collection of "people who work with their hands". I never realized how many pictures we have of people's hands around our house. I need to be more observant. Sorry honey I never realized that before or maybe I forgot? I plead the fifth? We showed Amy the nursery. She absolutely loved the furniture we chose out. She said it was perfect and could not wait for us to have a baby. For those of you who have been to our house and have seen our guest bathroom, it has blue walls and a silver disco-esk shower curtain, Amy loved the bathroom. That is so funny to say that because I think it is one of my favorite rooms of our house too. I was just thinking that the other day. When we came to look at this house it was the first thing I saw that I loved. It reminds me of a artsy bar for some reason. She loved Shane Kislack's "Window into New York" that we have hanging in there. It is literally a picture Shane took placed into a old window sill. He gave it to us for a house warming gift. It is funny because we had so many stories to share with Amy about our art. It was so cool that she let us share them with her.
After that it was over. No more questions, no more looking around. I did send Amy home with 5 red velvet Valentines cupcakes. Not trying to butter her up, but I did want her to know about our fundraiser Cupcakes for Our Cupcake. She loved it and was so glad that we made something for her and her family. We are so glad that the home study is behind us. I think for now we want to just relax and wait for what is next. No more worrying. Just relax and let it be. Like Bob Marley said "Don't worry about a thing, cuz every little thing is going to be alright!"
Love to you all!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Home Study Part 1
Preview :The nursery
This last Tuesday was part 1 of our home study with our wonderful social worker Amy. We met at Richland Hills Church of Christ for a 4 and half hour interview. It was very long, but at the same time seemed to go by surprisingly fast. She started the interview with us both in the room. We went over every detail from our paperwork regarding our future baby. She wanted to make sure that we really were ok with the things such as health issues with birth mom or birth father and things we allowed regarding the possible baby’s health issues. Nothing out of the norm, but she wanted to make sure we did not accidently say we were ok with a condition when we could not handle it. Jonathan and I are firm believers that God will give us what we can handle. I know sometimes He can give more, but we believe our baby is already chosen for us by God. So, why would we even but limits on what we can handle? Of course we had some limitations, but those limitations are private.
After we agreed to all those things she allowed some time for us to ask questions or talk through things we have been feeling. She asked us about our marriage and our families reactions to us adopting. We are also open to bi-racial children. She wanted to make sure our families were as well. Luckily for us, we both have a mixed family so it is no biggie. We have a niece, nephew, and a sister who are all bi racial and I am sure even more extended family who are mixed. In this day in age what is the big whoop anyway? Isn’t everyone a Heinz 57? If you can tell me you are 100% (insert your race here) I would probably say you are lying.
Then we split up for individual interviews. Each one lasted about one hour. Questions ranged and were exactly the questions I had posted about before. We went through our autobiographies and she asked us questions based off those. Then we talked about our marriage, our faith, discipline, strengths and weakness, and grants for adoption. The hour seemed to fly by and by the end of the day we were both exhausted. I think, for me, the hour wait while Jonathan was in his interview did me in. After the interview we both went home and were in bed asleep by 8:45. That is how exhausted we were. It was a great process don’t get me wrong, but we had been so stressed over it that we were tired.
On the plus side, Amy said that we should have NO problem adopting a baby THIS year. She says we are open to so much and it should not be much of a wait. Of course she can not be certain and can not predict this, but in her opinion we will not have to wait long. We let her know the nursery is ready for a baby. She said she could not wait to see it next Tuesday when the second part of our home study starts. She said not to go crazy cleaning and organizing because she is there to see how we live and make sure we do not have “giant holes in the floor”. Glad we do not even have small ones. ;)
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Home Study dates
Its official! Part 1 and 2 of our home study has been scheduled. Part 1, which is the interview process, will take place next Tuesday 2/7/12 at 1:00 at a church in Richland Hills. I have done some research on what typically happens in these interviews and what kind of questions they ask. First they will interview us together then seperatly. A few questions I pulled off of Google that could be asked range from disciplining the child, down to what type of school they will go to: public or private. They can also ask questions about our families and our history. It is going to be very interesting. Jonathan and I have already gone over some of the questions just to make sure we are at least on the same page on important things such as discipline. We are excited and not to worried about it.
Part 2 will be scheduled on Valentines day 2/14/12. It will start bright and early at 8:45. At Home Visit the social worker is looking to make sure we have proper standards that meet the agencies expectations. example working smoke alarms, safe storage of firearms, safe water, pools covered/fenced, and adequate space for each child. Social workers are not typically inspecting your housekeeping standards. A certain level of order is necessary, but some family clutter is expected. A comfortable, child-friendly environment is what is being sought.
We are very excited to see what these next few weeks bring us. Please continue to pray for us while we take these next steps. Our love to you all.
Part 2 will be scheduled on Valentines day 2/14/12. It will start bright and early at 8:45. At Home Visit the social worker is looking to make sure we have proper standards that meet the agencies expectations. example working smoke alarms, safe storage of firearms, safe water, pools covered/fenced, and adequate space for each child. Social workers are not typically inspecting your housekeeping standards. A certain level of order is necessary, but some family clutter is expected. A comfortable, child-friendly environment is what is being sought.
We are very excited to see what these next few weeks bring us. Please continue to pray for us while we take these next steps. Our love to you all.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Home Study update
Jonathan and I have *FINALLY* submitted all of our paperwork, autobiographies, home sketch, and everything in between. I feel like having a party! We are so glad to have that portion over with. The autobiographies really had us hung up for some reason. I think the home make over really helped take our minds off of it, so we could finish writing them last week.
With all that being said our home study is set to begin next Tuesday 2/7/12. Its a 2 part home study. The first part will take about 4 hours. This is the interview step. Our social worker will ask us some questions together then apart. The second part is the actual home study where she comes to our house. That will most likely be the following week. The actual home study part is nerve wrecking to me for some reason. I have never really looked around my house for things out of place while putting on my shoes in the morning. Or looked at the ceiling to see little dust bunnies that I have never seen before. What is the best scent to have in the house? What scent says "We are ready to be parents?" I am actually laughing as I am writing this, because it looks funny on "paper". In my head it sounds logical for some insane reason. In the end I know our social worker is not a "bad guy". She is here to help us find our baby. She is not looking for that dust at the top of the shower, or the frog statue in the living room that is "out of place", or even those few dust bunnies in the corner. As far as the scent of the house goes, I am sure whatever Scentsy I have burning that day will be fine because it will be normal. Normal for the Hollon household. That will be the true picture of us. Which is what she is looking for. She is there to make sure we have the necessities: running water, proper beds, toilets, and our house is ran in a safe manner.
We are very excited to see what the next few weeks bring us. I will definitely be blogging about the home study. Please keep checking back.
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5
With all that being said our home study is set to begin next Tuesday 2/7/12. Its a 2 part home study. The first part will take about 4 hours. This is the interview step. Our social worker will ask us some questions together then apart. The second part is the actual home study where she comes to our house. That will most likely be the following week. The actual home study part is nerve wrecking to me for some reason. I have never really looked around my house for things out of place while putting on my shoes in the morning. Or looked at the ceiling to see little dust bunnies that I have never seen before. What is the best scent to have in the house? What scent says "We are ready to be parents?" I am actually laughing as I am writing this, because it looks funny on "paper". In my head it sounds logical for some insane reason. In the end I know our social worker is not a "bad guy". She is here to help us find our baby. She is not looking for that dust at the top of the shower, or the frog statue in the living room that is "out of place", or even those few dust bunnies in the corner. As far as the scent of the house goes, I am sure whatever Scentsy I have burning that day will be fine because it will be normal. Normal for the Hollon household. That will be the true picture of us. Which is what she is looking for. She is there to make sure we have the necessities: running water, proper beds, toilets, and our house is ran in a safe manner.
We are very excited to see what the next few weeks bring us. I will definitely be blogging about the home study. Please keep checking back.
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5
Monday, January 23, 2012
January 2012 updates
Since it has been a long time since I have posted anything here I thought I would put up an update. We still have not had our home study yet. Why you ask? Jonathan and I decided to put a little TLC into our house. We really want to make sure the house is taken care of before we get a wee one.
This past month we have painted the nursery, all white, and installed new carpets in the nursery and computer room. The reason we painted the nursery white is because it is neutral. We can do anything with it. I saw on Pinterest.com where a couple hung cute material on the walls of the nursery like pictures. This way it is easy to change out and no more painting is involved. Score for us. :) We really like this idea as we can be very creative with it.
A few weeks ago we went to Buy Buy Baby and picked up the crib set that I fell in love with back in August. We put it together this weekend and boy howdy... IT LOOKS GOOD IN THE NURSERY. I am so excited to finally be set at least with a crib. You can see the picture above of the new crib in the nursery.
Our friend Shane Kislack donated one of his photo shoots to us as a fundraiser. Someone took him up on the offer! We are so blessed to have so many great friends in our lives that are willing to sacrifice their time and resources towards our family. Thank you Shane and to everyone who has helped in one way or another. You can check out Shane's work at www.shanekislack.com.
For now, we are done with the house. Our eyes are set on the home study. We do hope between now and the end of February to have that done. So keep us in your prayers that we get those items that are left to be undone... done.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Paperwork...
We hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! With the Christmas season quickly approaching us we are quite excited to see what is in store for us as far as the adoption goes. Jonathan emailed in about 90% of the paperwork that was due to the adoption agency this morning. It was a lot to fill out and get turned in. Thank you to everyone who has been patient with us during this process. We know you are all just as excited as we are and it can make you impatient and wonder "why is it taking them so long to turn it in?" It was a good amount of paperwork and data that we had to get together for the agency. Heck, we still have a lot that needs to be sent in in way of forms IE vet shot records on the babies, physicals, health insurance verifications, and life insurance verifications.
We also have to finish our autobiographies which should be done by the end of the week and create our photo album for the birth mother to view. Please keep us in your prayers for these items.
This is a short update and I hope more updates will be coming soon!
We also have to finish our autobiographies which should be done by the end of the week and create our photo album for the birth mother to view. Please keep us in your prayers for these items.
This is a short update and I hope more updates will be coming soon!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Jigsaw puzzle fundraiser
I was trying to think of another way to raise money that everyone can be a part of. Something that represents every person and would forever be a part of our child's life. I have been doing some research on this topic and I kept coming up with a jigsaw puzzle. The idea is to sell a puzzle piece to people who want to be a part of our child's life for $5 a piece. Individually the piece is just that... a piece of the puzzle. Don't they say it takes a village to raise a child? Hopefully, in the end the puzzle will become the big picture. A picture of family, friends, and acquaintances holding this child that is coming into this world.
My idea is that once all of the pieces have been purchased for $5 a piece then it will be glued together and hung in the nursery for the child to have forever. Forever knowing that he/she was loved before he/she was even born. By everyone.
If one piece is missing the picture will not be complete. That is why we need your help. If you want to buy a piece of the puzzle for $5 please contact me. The puzzle is a 750 piece puzzle. Please spread the word.
“They are the children God has graciously given your servant.” Genesis 33:5
My email: Shelly.Hollon@gmail.com
Thank you so much for all the love, prayers and encouragement that we have been given during this process. It still amazes us the many blessings that we have been given. All of this ultimately the work of God through you all. Thank you!
My idea is that once all of the pieces have been purchased for $5 a piece then it will be glued together and hung in the nursery for the child to have forever. Forever knowing that he/she was loved before he/she was even born. By everyone.
If one piece is missing the picture will not be complete. That is why we need your help. If you want to buy a piece of the puzzle for $5 please contact me. The puzzle is a 750 piece puzzle. Please spread the word.
“They are the children God has graciously given your servant.” Genesis 33:5
My email: Shelly.Hollon@gmail.com
Thank you so much for all the love, prayers and encouragement that we have been given during this process. It still amazes us the many blessings that we have been given. All of this ultimately the work of God through you all. Thank you!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Adoption Orientation part 2
As I stated yesterday there was SO much information that was given at the orientation that I thought it was only fair that I gave it to you in two days as well. I forgot to mention yesterday that we are the first orientation to get all forms on a flash drive. Thats right, after 50 years of paper Christian Homes has gone paperless. Good for them and I am glad to be a part of the process. It really has been a pleasant experience so far. Its all in a PDF file. Just fill it in and email it back to them. (By the way we are over half way done with ALL the paperwork :) )
We were asked to be back at Christian Homes by 8:15 Saturday morning. That was an early time for us as we did not make it to bed until around 11:30. We were filling out all of the paperwork and doing as much as we could before we passed out from the day. Luckily for us Christian Homes is only about 10 minutes from the Marriott hotel we were staying at in Abilene. I feel I must add that it was 46 degrees in Abilene on Saturday morning. Very strange but also very nice. I like to think the Lord was giving us a "cool" start to Saturday and maybe the rest of our lives.
We arrived at Christian Homes as 8:15. Christian Homes attorney Paul, wish I could remember his last name, came to speak with us about legal matters and what to expect. In Texas the birth mother has a mandatory 48 hour time frame to sign over her rights after the baby is born. Again this is mandatory. She can choose to have us in the hospital room giving birth OR she can choose to have those 48 hours to just her and the baby. That seems a little non-negotiable. We can have input, but that is up to her. Now, the father issue can be a whole new bag of worms according to Paul. There can be three types of fathers. The first one is when the birth mother does not know who the father is, second one is the father is known but does not want to be a father, and the third is when she knows who the father is but he will not respond to written request to come forward for the baby. The first and the last types of fathers get 30 days in Texas to contest the adoption. That is if the first father finds out that she is pregnant with his baby. Do not hold me to all the above information regarding fathers. It was thrown at us so quickly. That is what I understood at least.
After Paul was finished we got to meet a panel of 3 women who were all adoptees. I will omit their names for their privacy. They were all great and told us their stories. They did not hold much back. Open adoption was a main key that we kept running into this weekend. If we decided on open adoption we would work out a gentlemans deal with the birth mother that we can all live with. Examples would be a yearly photo and letter, or a monthly photo. They usually deal with photos. It is not legal and binding that we send pictures or letters but its your word which means something to us. Most of these women had open adoptions and they seemed happier that way. There was one woman who did not have an open adoption and that seemed to still plague her to this day. Why did the mother or father not want to be in her life? Of course she may never know the answer to that, but I pray she finds closure one day. It was an eye opening panel and I am appreciative we had that time with the three ladies.
The agency also brings in birth mothers to speak with us. Unfortunatly, only one showed up. We will refer to her as Miss J to keep her privacy. She continues to go to the orientations to tell her story. Miss J is a beautiful women who looked all of about 21. When she told us she was really 38 my jaw dropped. By the way, Miss J is a different age than 38, but I did not want to give her true age out as that may be another identifying way for some. What I am trying to convey is that she was really about 20 years older than she looked. She told us her story which had me in tears and in love with her within 5 minutes of hearing her speak. I know Jonathan was too. Miss J had a very terrifying life experience that I hope noone will ever have to endure. We will continue to pray for Miss J as she continues on her journey.
The over all experience was awesome and one that we would do again. It was an unbelievable weekend. I am so glad that we were able to share this information with you all.
We were asked to be back at Christian Homes by 8:15 Saturday morning. That was an early time for us as we did not make it to bed until around 11:30. We were filling out all of the paperwork and doing as much as we could before we passed out from the day. Luckily for us Christian Homes is only about 10 minutes from the Marriott hotel we were staying at in Abilene. I feel I must add that it was 46 degrees in Abilene on Saturday morning. Very strange but also very nice. I like to think the Lord was giving us a "cool" start to Saturday and maybe the rest of our lives.
We arrived at Christian Homes as 8:15. Christian Homes attorney Paul, wish I could remember his last name, came to speak with us about legal matters and what to expect. In Texas the birth mother has a mandatory 48 hour time frame to sign over her rights after the baby is born. Again this is mandatory. She can choose to have us in the hospital room giving birth OR she can choose to have those 48 hours to just her and the baby. That seems a little non-negotiable. We can have input, but that is up to her. Now, the father issue can be a whole new bag of worms according to Paul. There can be three types of fathers. The first one is when the birth mother does not know who the father is, second one is the father is known but does not want to be a father, and the third is when she knows who the father is but he will not respond to written request to come forward for the baby. The first and the last types of fathers get 30 days in Texas to contest the adoption. That is if the first father finds out that she is pregnant with his baby. Do not hold me to all the above information regarding fathers. It was thrown at us so quickly. That is what I understood at least.
After Paul was finished we got to meet a panel of 3 women who were all adoptees. I will omit their names for their privacy. They were all great and told us their stories. They did not hold much back. Open adoption was a main key that we kept running into this weekend. If we decided on open adoption we would work out a gentlemans deal with the birth mother that we can all live with. Examples would be a yearly photo and letter, or a monthly photo. They usually deal with photos. It is not legal and binding that we send pictures or letters but its your word which means something to us. Most of these women had open adoptions and they seemed happier that way. There was one woman who did not have an open adoption and that seemed to still plague her to this day. Why did the mother or father not want to be in her life? Of course she may never know the answer to that, but I pray she finds closure one day. It was an eye opening panel and I am appreciative we had that time with the three ladies.
The agency also brings in birth mothers to speak with us. Unfortunatly, only one showed up. We will refer to her as Miss J to keep her privacy. She continues to go to the orientations to tell her story. Miss J is a beautiful women who looked all of about 21. When she told us she was really 38 my jaw dropped. By the way, Miss J is a different age than 38, but I did not want to give her true age out as that may be another identifying way for some. What I am trying to convey is that she was really about 20 years older than she looked. She told us her story which had me in tears and in love with her within 5 minutes of hearing her speak. I know Jonathan was too. Miss J had a very terrifying life experience that I hope noone will ever have to endure. We will continue to pray for Miss J as she continues on her journey.
The over all experience was awesome and one that we would do again. It was an unbelievable weekend. I am so glad that we were able to share this information with you all.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Adoption Orientation Part 1
I will be telling you about the orientation in two parts. There is so much information packed in and this weekend was the same way. It was such an awesome opportunity and we are so thankful to have done it.
The adoption orientation was great. I have never met a greater bunch of individuals. When we arrived we were greeted by Sharon, the receptionist, at Christian Homes. She showed us the room we would be in for the orientation. We were ushered into a large room with 2 1/2 walls full of 8x10 photos of all of the children that have been adopted through Christian Homes. Most of them were later in life photos and some were baby pictures. It was neat to see the "extended family" of the agency. The room had tables in the shape of a giant horse shoe. At every table sat 1 couple, and there were 10 couples present for the orientation. Everyone looked different some were older, some were young, and many different ethnicities. Jonathan and I sat down at the first table on the left of the podium. That was one of the only tables left by the time we got there which is fine by me as I like to sit in the front anyways. After a couple minutes the Christian Homes staff started walking up and introducing themselves to us. It was refreshing to see how easy it was to talk to them all. There was never an awkward moment and the conversations just kept flowing. A few minutes later Bob Parkhill, VP of Christian Homes, walked up to the podium and called the orientation to order. After a quick prayer, he told everyone he would like us to introduce themselves. It was very cool to see and hear the dynamics of the other couples that were there. Bob said something that really stuck with both of us. He said "do not size up the other couples; we are all on the same team not opponents." I could not have agreed more. I was not looking at the other couples in the room and thinking "who is going to be getting our baby?" Instead, I was looking at them all as potential support systems. As we started going around the room we learned that there were couples from all over the United States. 1 couple from New Mexico, one from Arkansas and one from North Carolina (whom I will get to more about later). WOW, couples that committed to travel across the U.S. to work with Christian Homes. What a beautiful picture and made us feel very blessed to live within driving distance of this wonderful organization. The introduction portion of the orientation made everything already worth it.
The next thing on the agenda was for us to learn all of the wonderful things that Christian Homes has to offer birth mothers, the community and the adoptive parents. We listened to a few of the staff members speak about the adoption process. Marketing is a HUGE part of the agency. They advertise at Planned Parenthood's, OB/GYN offices, colleges, Seventeen magazine, and many other popular magazines. Bob let us in on an interesting fact; did you know it takes Christian Homes $6,000 in marketing fee's for 1 baby? Now, Christian Homes does not JUST help birth mothers who are giving their babies up for adoption. They help all mothers who come through the doors no matter if they are giving their babies up or not. We think this is a huge ministry that is lacking in todays society. Some of these mothers who come in to the agencies are just scared or are not sure. I can not remember the exact numbers but about half of the mothers that come into the agency for help are actually putting their babies up for adoption. That is a lot of women who need help. Help with groceries, rent, phone, water etc. Christian Homes will help with what the can. Not only financially, but emotionally as well. They have a therapist on staff at all times or at least one close by.
We also went through how to write birth mother letters, and the photo albums we have to come up with. The photo albums can be no longer than 10 pages (front and back), and stapled in the upper left hand corner. We were very excited to actually see some examples of adoptive parents albums and to hear some reasons why birth mothers chose or did not choose those families for her baby to go to. A birth mother could see a potential adoptive mother wearing a Dallas Cowboys sweater and say "I love the Cowboys" and choose the adoptive family based off that one shirt. Bob told us of a story of a young birth mother, 17, who was reading Gullivers Travels at school. When it came time for her to find the adoptive family she opened an album and the adoptive family had a dog named Gulliver. She chose them. Isn't that neat? SO, it is very important that we be true to ourselves and you never know what will jump out at these women. By the way I do not want you to read this as me saying all of the girls are young. In the next blog I will tell about a birth mom we met who was 38 when she put her baby up for adoption.
The last thing we went over on Friday was outreach programs that we had to do to adopt through Christian Homes. They had 10 different ideas but you had to choose three to do. This seems more like a marketing/research for ourselves out in the community or maybe to make sure we are good about being open about our adoption with our friends and families. In case you were wondering YES this blog does meet one of the requirements. So does my Cupcakes for Our Cupcakes Facebook page, coming, and my adoption group through church with Kathryn. We are more than good on these three things.
That ends part 1 of the blog about the adoption orientation. Please check back tomorrow where I hope to tell you all about the birth mothers, adoptee's and birth parents who have already adopted through Christian Homes. What a awesome weekend!
The adoption orientation was great. I have never met a greater bunch of individuals. When we arrived we were greeted by Sharon, the receptionist, at Christian Homes. She showed us the room we would be in for the orientation. We were ushered into a large room with 2 1/2 walls full of 8x10 photos of all of the children that have been adopted through Christian Homes. Most of them were later in life photos and some were baby pictures. It was neat to see the "extended family" of the agency. The room had tables in the shape of a giant horse shoe. At every table sat 1 couple, and there were 10 couples present for the orientation. Everyone looked different some were older, some were young, and many different ethnicities. Jonathan and I sat down at the first table on the left of the podium. That was one of the only tables left by the time we got there which is fine by me as I like to sit in the front anyways. After a couple minutes the Christian Homes staff started walking up and introducing themselves to us. It was refreshing to see how easy it was to talk to them all. There was never an awkward moment and the conversations just kept flowing. A few minutes later Bob Parkhill, VP of Christian Homes, walked up to the podium and called the orientation to order. After a quick prayer, he told everyone he would like us to introduce themselves. It was very cool to see and hear the dynamics of the other couples that were there. Bob said something that really stuck with both of us. He said "do not size up the other couples; we are all on the same team not opponents." I could not have agreed more. I was not looking at the other couples in the room and thinking "who is going to be getting our baby?" Instead, I was looking at them all as potential support systems. As we started going around the room we learned that there were couples from all over the United States. 1 couple from New Mexico, one from Arkansas and one from North Carolina (whom I will get to more about later). WOW, couples that committed to travel across the U.S. to work with Christian Homes. What a beautiful picture and made us feel very blessed to live within driving distance of this wonderful organization. The introduction portion of the orientation made everything already worth it.
The next thing on the agenda was for us to learn all of the wonderful things that Christian Homes has to offer birth mothers, the community and the adoptive parents. We listened to a few of the staff members speak about the adoption process. Marketing is a HUGE part of the agency. They advertise at Planned Parenthood's, OB/GYN offices, colleges, Seventeen magazine, and many other popular magazines. Bob let us in on an interesting fact; did you know it takes Christian Homes $6,000 in marketing fee's for 1 baby? Now, Christian Homes does not JUST help birth mothers who are giving their babies up for adoption. They help all mothers who come through the doors no matter if they are giving their babies up or not. We think this is a huge ministry that is lacking in todays society. Some of these mothers who come in to the agencies are just scared or are not sure. I can not remember the exact numbers but about half of the mothers that come into the agency for help are actually putting their babies up for adoption. That is a lot of women who need help. Help with groceries, rent, phone, water etc. Christian Homes will help with what the can. Not only financially, but emotionally as well. They have a therapist on staff at all times or at least one close by.
We also went through how to write birth mother letters, and the photo albums we have to come up with. The photo albums can be no longer than 10 pages (front and back), and stapled in the upper left hand corner. We were very excited to actually see some examples of adoptive parents albums and to hear some reasons why birth mothers chose or did not choose those families for her baby to go to. A birth mother could see a potential adoptive mother wearing a Dallas Cowboys sweater and say "I love the Cowboys" and choose the adoptive family based off that one shirt. Bob told us of a story of a young birth mother, 17, who was reading Gullivers Travels at school. When it came time for her to find the adoptive family she opened an album and the adoptive family had a dog named Gulliver. She chose them. Isn't that neat? SO, it is very important that we be true to ourselves and you never know what will jump out at these women. By the way I do not want you to read this as me saying all of the girls are young. In the next blog I will tell about a birth mom we met who was 38 when she put her baby up for adoption.
The last thing we went over on Friday was outreach programs that we had to do to adopt through Christian Homes. They had 10 different ideas but you had to choose three to do. This seems more like a marketing/research for ourselves out in the community or maybe to make sure we are good about being open about our adoption with our friends and families. In case you were wondering YES this blog does meet one of the requirements. So does my Cupcakes for Our Cupcakes Facebook page, coming, and my adoption group through church with Kathryn. We are more than good on these three things.
That ends part 1 of the blog about the adoption orientation. Please check back tomorrow where I hope to tell you all about the birth mothers, adoptee's and birth parents who have already adopted through Christian Homes. What a awesome weekend!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Adoption orientation...
We are so excited that the orientation has finally arrived. We have been waiting for this for over 2 months. We are working hard to get all of the paperwork and tests completed so that we can just turn in our packet for acceptance to Christian Homes. Please keep us in your prayers. I will have a full write up next week on our time at the orientation.
Also, we are having another garage sale on 10/15/11 in Watauga at our house. If you have any items you would like to donate towards the cause please let me know.
Hope you all have a blessed day!
Also, we are having another garage sale on 10/15/11 in Watauga at our house. If you have any items you would like to donate towards the cause please let me know.
Hope you all have a blessed day!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Garage Sale
The Garage sale was a HIT! We are so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family members who are eager to help us fundraise to help offset the cost of the baby. Thank you to all who helped. BIG thank you to Damon and Kate Cunningham. They offered up their house and time for this great cause!
We are already planning the next garage sale. It will be in October sometime so please start helping gather things from friends. It will be a lot cooler then and hopefully more people will be able to help run the sale.
Hope you all have a blessed day!
We are already planning the next garage sale. It will be in October sometime so please start helping gather things from friends. It will be a lot cooler then and hopefully more people will be able to help run the sale.
Hope you all have a blessed day!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
This is not a diary...
I had an epiphany today with the help of a good friend. I have been writing to this blog for about 2 months. The original reason for this blog was for educational purposes for family, friends and even people I do not know from far away. As I began this journey I was not sure where God was going to lead me or how He was going to use me. It started to become clear to me as everywhere I went there seemed to be someone who was interested/looking to/considering adoption but just did not know where to start. I started thinking "What stage can I use to help people with adoption questions?" Then I met Kathryn at church. She works in the adoption world and knows the in's and out's. We formed a team and are working on setting up a group at church that meets quarterly to discuss adoption. We are both very excited about this endeavor. So, that kinda fixes my need and want to help people with adoption.
Everytime I write a new blog I send our family members and close friends an email that just lets them know a new blog has been written. I also make a posting on Facebook so our friends can look if they want to. I do this because this blog is probably not something most people check daily. I have been wondering why the comments, questions, and messages suddenly stopped about 6 weeks ago. It was brought to my attention that this blog could be seen as a diary. Most people do not know what to say or write if they think its a diary. I did just want to be upfront and honest and let everyone know this is not a diary/journal/private deal. This is meant for everyone to enjoy, document, learn, and fellowship with. Please send us your comments, prayers, and questions. To me the biggest need, other than prayers, are encouraging words. Sometimes this journey can have its up's and down's. We need all the encouraging words we can get. :)
I hope that after September 30th this blog will start becoming more interesting with start of the real deal: Home Study. We are excited to get this going, but we have a lot to do before then.
This is one of my favorite Bible verses and my personal favorite book of The Bible.
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
Everytime I write a new blog I send our family members and close friends an email that just lets them know a new blog has been written. I also make a posting on Facebook so our friends can look if they want to. I do this because this blog is probably not something most people check daily. I have been wondering why the comments, questions, and messages suddenly stopped about 6 weeks ago. It was brought to my attention that this blog could be seen as a diary. Most people do not know what to say or write if they think its a diary. I did just want to be upfront and honest and let everyone know this is not a diary/journal/private deal. This is meant for everyone to enjoy, document, learn, and fellowship with. Please send us your comments, prayers, and questions. To me the biggest need, other than prayers, are encouraging words. Sometimes this journey can have its up's and down's. We need all the encouraging words we can get. :)
I hope that after September 30th this blog will start becoming more interesting with start of the real deal: Home Study. We are excited to get this going, but we have a lot to do before then.
This is one of my favorite Bible verses and my personal favorite book of The Bible.
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Garage sale 8/27/11
Our good friends Damon and Kate wanted to help raise money towards the adoption and we came up with the idea of a garage sale. Why not have a HUGE garage sale and get people to donate items for the sale with all proceeds going to the adoption? Sounds easy enough. The donations have been rolling in and as of right now I have a car full of stuff that was donated today by co-workers. Damon and Kate have stuff for the garage sale and people they know are willing to help as well. I just can not believe this is going to happen. We are so blessed to have people in our lives that truly care.
If you or someone you know has items to donate please let us know. We can meet you somewhere or come to your house to pick it up. The garage sale is Saturday August 27th starting at 7:00 AM in Grand Praire. Damon and Kate have graciously offered their home up for this awesome fundraiser.
I have people willing to pick up if you live in North Fort Worth, Saginaw, Bedford, Keller, Grand Praire, Irving, and Carrolton. We can arrange meet up's in between too. Please let us know if you can help. Every little bit helps. Thank you!
If you want cupcakes please let me know. I will have some out there for sale. I am not sure of the number of cupcakes, but I will at least have 50 unless people order in which case I will have more.
Thank you!
If you or someone you know has items to donate please let us know. We can meet you somewhere or come to your house to pick it up. The garage sale is Saturday August 27th starting at 7:00 AM in Grand Praire. Damon and Kate have graciously offered their home up for this awesome fundraiser.
I have people willing to pick up if you live in North Fort Worth, Saginaw, Bedford, Keller, Grand Praire, Irving, and Carrolton. We can arrange meet up's in between too. Please let us know if you can help. Every little bit helps. Thank you!
If you want cupcakes please let me know. I will have some out there for sale. I am not sure of the number of cupcakes, but I will at least have 50 unless people order in which case I will have more.
Thank you!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Being "In On It"
Back in one of my first blog posts I put a book called In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption; A Guide for Relatives and Friends. I have "liked" the Adoptive Families page on Facebook and they posted a quick run down of the book by the author. I call it the Cliffs Notes. If you have not read the book this is a great run down for you all. I am not a big reader, so I appreciate little things like these. If you have any questions please let us know. We know that both of our families have dealt with adoption in the past, but it may have been awhile. I get questions everyday about adoption and "Why are you adopting? Can you not have children of your own?" even down to "Are you culturally able to have a bi-racial child?" You may think that is a personal question and IT IS! I find that people have more nerve to ask such personal questions more than they should. So its great to read things like this. I hope you all read below.
5 Things You Need to Know If Your Kids Are Adopting
When my husband and I announced to our parents our decision to adopt our first child, their reactions ranged from, "Great, when can I babysit?" to "Why would you want to do something like that?" The less-than-enthusiastic responses surprised me at the time, but I understand them better now. After all, my husband and I had had years to embrace this path to parenthood, while these soon-to-be grandparents were reacting – honestly – to something that was new and unfamiliar and, for one or two of them, a bit uncomfortable. Whether you're immediately thrilled by the news of an impending adoption, or feeling some cautiousness – or even reluctance – about your adult child's decision, you're likely to have some questions.
Here are five important things every new adoptive grandparent needs to know:
1. Adoption has changed
Consider how adoption used to be practiced. There was an emphasis on separation, even secrecy. You may have once known a pregnant girl who "went away" and came back months later, childless and expected to resume her life where she'd left off. Some children were never even told they were adopted. Parents who adopted transracially were counseled to try to minimize or ignore the child's differences as much as possible. These practices were once considered best for everyone.Today, the values of information and communication, for all participants, are paramount. Adoption is almost never a secret. Birth cultures, birth families, and birth countries often have an ongoing role in our families. Parents who adopt transracially are encouraged to acknowledge differences and to try to support a child's ethnic identity. These are significant changes, and they may be unfamiliar to people whose concept of adoption is based on past practices or media portrayals. It makes sense to have questions and concerns.Try to educate yourself about contemporary adoption. Read books and articles, visit websites, or attend information meetings. Gathering up-to-date, accurate information not only makes you better prepared; it's also a way to demonstrate your interest and support for your loved ones – even if you still have reservations.
2. You may need time to get comfortable with adoption. Adoption may be new to you – just as it was at one point to the new parents. You may need time and space to prepare for an unexpected path to grandparenthood. It's not at all uncommon for grandparents or other family members to have imagined and anticipated a very different child or experience. We adoptive parents typically need time to get comfortable and ready for adoption ourselves. The lengthy process – paperwork, training, decision-making, and waiting – helps to prepare us. As grandparents, you may need to (gently) remind your loved ones to extend to you the same time, education, and preparation that they, as adoptive parents, had. Many of your questions or concerns no doubt stem from feelings of love and an urge to protect the adoptive parents. But even the most enthusiastic and supportive grandparent can benefit from more information. Explain this to your loved ones. Then have some discussions with them about their adoption plans, asking and listening in equal measure.
3. You will be asked questions, too. One morning, as my mom was taking a walk with my daughter, her neighbor approached her and asked, "How'd she get so brown?" When my mom told me about the incident later, she said that when my husband and I adopted, she'd figured we'd get plenty of questions and comments about the children and about adoption. But she hadn't expected to be answering questions herself. It hadn't occurred to me, either, that other people close to my family might find themselves speaking on behalf of adoption and our children. They deserve to feel prepared to do so.You, too, may find yourself fielding unexpected questions or comments at preschool pick-up or while walking through the grocery store with your new grandchild. Over time, your adopted grandchild may approach you with questions or a desire to talk about his or her adoption. You need information and guidelines to do so. Discuss with your grandchild's parents the kinds of questions people ask about adoption (How much did she cost? What is she? Is she adopted?) and how they'd like you to respond. Understand the family's boundaries regarding privacy – especially the child's. Remember that the most important listener is always the child. Frame any comments for the child's benefit above all.
4. You can have a role.Relatives of adoptive parents often ask how they can help or show their support. It's a good question. Since so much of the adoption process can only be completed by the adopting parents, much happens independent of other family members who might otherwise be very involved in such a life-altering experience. Even that most traditional of ways we welcome a child – the baby shower – gets complicated when age, size, gender, language, and arrival date may still be a mystery. But even though some aspects of this path to parenthood look different, adoption still can be very much a shared experience.Practical ways to help include: donating air miles for adoption-related travel; offering breaks and babysitting to the new parents; making donations to child welfare or adoption organizations; or simply discussing current events from a child's birth country. More personal ways to help include seeking out other perspectives on adoption, especially those of birthparents and adult adoptees, and acting as an ambassador for adoption through your own words and attitude. Remain positive and engaged. Listen without judgment to your child, who is in the midst of a challenging personal experience. These demonstrations of love and support will be welcomed – and remembered.
5. You have a lot to look forward to.I sometimes think of adoption as being in on a really good secret. Whenever I see a family like mine, I'm always tempted to approach the parents and whisper something like, "Can you believe this? Isn't it great?" And I can tell from the pleased and proud faces of doting adoptive grandparents that this insight usually extends to them, as well. To participate in an adoption is a privilege. There are particular experiences and insights to which you will now be privy. Like any worthwhile experience, adoption will challenge you and even change you. In the words of one adoptive grandfather: "Every child gladdens your heart. What happens after a child comes into the family is just as important as how they arrived into it." This is where you, both a parent and grandparent, come in.
5 Things You Need to Know If Your Kids Are Adopting
When my husband and I announced to our parents our decision to adopt our first child, their reactions ranged from, "Great, when can I babysit?" to "Why would you want to do something like that?" The less-than-enthusiastic responses surprised me at the time, but I understand them better now. After all, my husband and I had had years to embrace this path to parenthood, while these soon-to-be grandparents were reacting – honestly – to something that was new and unfamiliar and, for one or two of them, a bit uncomfortable. Whether you're immediately thrilled by the news of an impending adoption, or feeling some cautiousness – or even reluctance – about your adult child's decision, you're likely to have some questions.
Here are five important things every new adoptive grandparent needs to know:
1. Adoption has changed
Consider how adoption used to be practiced. There was an emphasis on separation, even secrecy. You may have once known a pregnant girl who "went away" and came back months later, childless and expected to resume her life where she'd left off. Some children were never even told they were adopted. Parents who adopted transracially were counseled to try to minimize or ignore the child's differences as much as possible. These practices were once considered best for everyone.Today, the values of information and communication, for all participants, are paramount. Adoption is almost never a secret. Birth cultures, birth families, and birth countries often have an ongoing role in our families. Parents who adopt transracially are encouraged to acknowledge differences and to try to support a child's ethnic identity. These are significant changes, and they may be unfamiliar to people whose concept of adoption is based on past practices or media portrayals. It makes sense to have questions and concerns.Try to educate yourself about contemporary adoption. Read books and articles, visit websites, or attend information meetings. Gathering up-to-date, accurate information not only makes you better prepared; it's also a way to demonstrate your interest and support for your loved ones – even if you still have reservations.
2. You may need time to get comfortable with adoption. Adoption may be new to you – just as it was at one point to the new parents. You may need time and space to prepare for an unexpected path to grandparenthood. It's not at all uncommon for grandparents or other family members to have imagined and anticipated a very different child or experience. We adoptive parents typically need time to get comfortable and ready for adoption ourselves. The lengthy process – paperwork, training, decision-making, and waiting – helps to prepare us. As grandparents, you may need to (gently) remind your loved ones to extend to you the same time, education, and preparation that they, as adoptive parents, had. Many of your questions or concerns no doubt stem from feelings of love and an urge to protect the adoptive parents. But even the most enthusiastic and supportive grandparent can benefit from more information. Explain this to your loved ones. Then have some discussions with them about their adoption plans, asking and listening in equal measure.
3. You will be asked questions, too. One morning, as my mom was taking a walk with my daughter, her neighbor approached her and asked, "How'd she get so brown?" When my mom told me about the incident later, she said that when my husband and I adopted, she'd figured we'd get plenty of questions and comments about the children and about adoption. But she hadn't expected to be answering questions herself. It hadn't occurred to me, either, that other people close to my family might find themselves speaking on behalf of adoption and our children. They deserve to feel prepared to do so.You, too, may find yourself fielding unexpected questions or comments at preschool pick-up or while walking through the grocery store with your new grandchild. Over time, your adopted grandchild may approach you with questions or a desire to talk about his or her adoption. You need information and guidelines to do so. Discuss with your grandchild's parents the kinds of questions people ask about adoption (How much did she cost? What is she? Is she adopted?) and how they'd like you to respond. Understand the family's boundaries regarding privacy – especially the child's. Remember that the most important listener is always the child. Frame any comments for the child's benefit above all.
4. You can have a role.Relatives of adoptive parents often ask how they can help or show their support. It's a good question. Since so much of the adoption process can only be completed by the adopting parents, much happens independent of other family members who might otherwise be very involved in such a life-altering experience. Even that most traditional of ways we welcome a child – the baby shower – gets complicated when age, size, gender, language, and arrival date may still be a mystery. But even though some aspects of this path to parenthood look different, adoption still can be very much a shared experience.Practical ways to help include: donating air miles for adoption-related travel; offering breaks and babysitting to the new parents; making donations to child welfare or adoption organizations; or simply discussing current events from a child's birth country. More personal ways to help include seeking out other perspectives on adoption, especially those of birthparents and adult adoptees, and acting as an ambassador for adoption through your own words and attitude. Remain positive and engaged. Listen without judgment to your child, who is in the midst of a challenging personal experience. These demonstrations of love and support will be welcomed – and remembered.
5. You have a lot to look forward to.I sometimes think of adoption as being in on a really good secret. Whenever I see a family like mine, I'm always tempted to approach the parents and whisper something like, "Can you believe this? Isn't it great?" And I can tell from the pleased and proud faces of doting adoptive grandparents that this insight usually extends to them, as well. To participate in an adoption is a privilege. There are particular experiences and insights to which you will now be privy. Like any worthwhile experience, adoption will challenge you and even change you. In the words of one adoptive grandfather: "Every child gladdens your heart. What happens after a child comes into the family is just as important as how they arrived into it." This is where you, both a parent and grandparent, come in.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Bullet Point Updates
I have not blogged in about 10 days about what is going on. The whole reason for this blog is to update family members, friends and to document this whole process. Plenty has happened, but I just need to write it all down so you know what is going on. I will bullet point some things I would like to share.
* I was baptised on 7/17/11! I was very nervous because there were a lot of people at church that day. I had about 20 people come to my baptism and that is not even including our life group. I am so incredibly blessed to have so many people who love and care about me.
*Jonathan left on Monday for San Antonio. He received the call from his boss and he had to leave immediately. I kind of expected that would happen. I really miss him, but it gets a bit easier as time goes on. Right now its just me and Harley. He really is a good friend to have as he always listens, never talks back, and makes me laugh. Harley is doing better by the way.
*I have been convicted to mission to couples in our church using education on adoption to help couples who have questions on the subject. Kathryn and I met with a church leader at 121 CC, Diane Lee, regarding it. Kathryn is the director of the agency that we are going through and also goes to our church. She knows so much about adoption! What a great team. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
* Another mission I am working on is local. A friend from Life Group set us up to go to a local Senior Citizens home in Bedford called La Dora. We will be going there at least twice a month to talk to the people who are there who may just need a friend to talk to. This Friday will be our first trip. Many of the elderly just want a fresh face to talk to or hear what is going on in the outside world. This is an excellent opportunity to take time out of our busy schedules to go and make someones day!
*We have a lot of things left to do on the check list before we do our orientation with the agency. Please keep us in your prayers that these things get done and with ease. It is a very large amount of work including an online class that we BOTH have to take, and CPR/FIRST AID certs for both of us. Luckily, my employer gets us certified every 2 years so I have mine. Jonathan will have to go get his, but we have all the information on a class that is the second Saturday of each month for $30. Not to shabby.
*My sister and I will be working on the back room this weekend that will become the nursery. We are removing everything but the bed. That way when Jonathan gets back from Dallas Cowboy training camp we can paint and decorate. We have decided on Owls as the theme for nursery. That is gender neutral and SUPER cute. Here is kind of what I am thinking: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=owl+nursery&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4GGLG_enUS307US307&biw=1360&bih=478&tbm=isch&tbnid=oca-xYyCTnjc-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/owls-and-alphabet-nursery.html&docid=9J0u7dqcjVKMvM&w=300&h=400&ei=N10xTrfYJMi3tgeD8I3pDA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=219&page=6&tbnh=156&tbnw=117&start=73&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:73&tx=97&ty=63
Hopefully I can find things that would look cute in the nursery. Goal is to have it completed or near completion by 9/30/11. We both would like it done before the home study. SO very excited.
*Names for the baby have been a big topic around the Hollons of Watauga house. We both have very different tastes when it comes to that. Jonathan likes the traditional names, while I like the different out of the norm names. We have a few names that we love for a girl, but not so much for a boy. We have agreed we like the name Pepper for a girl. I have since fallen in love with that name, and it is a perfect name for Jonathan to add the sweet nickname of Peppy to her list of nicknames. Yesterday I was trying to think of a middle name for Pepper. Nothing sounded right at all. I came across Katrice. Its greek for pure. Tori said "that is super cute, you can call her P.K." How cute right? P.K.! Jonathan liked the list of boy names I sent him via email since he has been in San Antonio. Eli, Evan, Timothy, Perry and Lawrence. I am sure we will come up with the perfect name.
* I was baptised on 7/17/11! I was very nervous because there were a lot of people at church that day. I had about 20 people come to my baptism and that is not even including our life group. I am so incredibly blessed to have so many people who love and care about me.
*Jonathan left on Monday for San Antonio. He received the call from his boss and he had to leave immediately. I kind of expected that would happen. I really miss him, but it gets a bit easier as time goes on. Right now its just me and Harley. He really is a good friend to have as he always listens, never talks back, and makes me laugh. Harley is doing better by the way.
*I have been convicted to mission to couples in our church using education on adoption to help couples who have questions on the subject. Kathryn and I met with a church leader at 121 CC, Diane Lee, regarding it. Kathryn is the director of the agency that we are going through and also goes to our church. She knows so much about adoption! What a great team. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
* Another mission I am working on is local. A friend from Life Group set us up to go to a local Senior Citizens home in Bedford called La Dora. We will be going there at least twice a month to talk to the people who are there who may just need a friend to talk to. This Friday will be our first trip. Many of the elderly just want a fresh face to talk to or hear what is going on in the outside world. This is an excellent opportunity to take time out of our busy schedules to go and make someones day!
*We have a lot of things left to do on the check list before we do our orientation with the agency. Please keep us in your prayers that these things get done and with ease. It is a very large amount of work including an online class that we BOTH have to take, and CPR/FIRST AID certs for both of us. Luckily, my employer gets us certified every 2 years so I have mine. Jonathan will have to go get his, but we have all the information on a class that is the second Saturday of each month for $30. Not to shabby.
*My sister and I will be working on the back room this weekend that will become the nursery. We are removing everything but the bed. That way when Jonathan gets back from Dallas Cowboy training camp we can paint and decorate. We have decided on Owls as the theme for nursery. That is gender neutral and SUPER cute. Here is kind of what I am thinking: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=owl+nursery&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4GGLG_enUS307US307&biw=1360&bih=478&tbm=isch&tbnid=oca-xYyCTnjc-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.creative-baby-nursery-rooms.com/owls-and-alphabet-nursery.html&docid=9J0u7dqcjVKMvM&w=300&h=400&ei=N10xTrfYJMi3tgeD8I3pDA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=219&page=6&tbnh=156&tbnw=117&start=73&ndsp=14&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:73&tx=97&ty=63
Hopefully I can find things that would look cute in the nursery. Goal is to have it completed or near completion by 9/30/11. We both would like it done before the home study. SO very excited.
*Names for the baby have been a big topic around the Hollons of Watauga house. We both have very different tastes when it comes to that. Jonathan likes the traditional names, while I like the different out of the norm names. We have a few names that we love for a girl, but not so much for a boy. We have agreed we like the name Pepper for a girl. I have since fallen in love with that name, and it is a perfect name for Jonathan to add the sweet nickname of Peppy to her list of nicknames. Yesterday I was trying to think of a middle name for Pepper. Nothing sounded right at all. I came across Katrice. Its greek for pure. Tori said "that is super cute, you can call her P.K." How cute right? P.K.! Jonathan liked the list of boy names I sent him via email since he has been in San Antonio. Eli, Evan, Timothy, Perry and Lawrence. I am sure we will come up with the perfect name.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake
We have been very blessed by everyone contributing to our adoption. I can not believe the amounts that are coming in from everyone around my job. It is so cool to know that everyone believes in what we are doing and are giving during hard times like these.
I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who is helping out with our cause and every penny counts. We are so excited!
Please see the pictures on the right side of the page of the cupcakes I am making. I will add pictures as I can to show you what is going on in the cupcake world.
Love you all.
I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who is helping out with our cause and every penny counts. We are so excited!
Please see the pictures on the right side of the page of the cupcakes I am making. I will add pictures as I can to show you what is going on in the cupcake world.
Love you all.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Excellent News
We were preliminarily accepted yesterday morning by Christian Families and Home Services in North Richland Hills. We are registered to attend the 2 day orientation at their home office in Abilene at the end of September. This is SUCH a huge blessing and we are so happy that we have finally found the right agency. God really did show us the way. Dont they say when a door closes another one will open? Well, this door swung open full force! We are so excited. :)
There is lots to do for both Jonathan and I before we go to orientation. Wish us luck that we can get some of it done. It does not ALL have to be done, but the sooner we do it the sooner we can adopt. I am so excited for this all to take place. Jonathan was very excited when I gave him the good news too.
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake is in full swing on my end. I have not heard from any other Angel Bakers on their progress but maybe soon I will. Donations seem to be coming in from everywhere and we have been blessed already in so many ways. Thank you to everyone who has helped with that already. I pray that it continues to grow and prosper.
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
There is lots to do for both Jonathan and I before we go to orientation. Wish us luck that we can get some of it done. It does not ALL have to be done, but the sooner we do it the sooner we can adopt. I am so excited for this all to take place. Jonathan was very excited when I gave him the good news too.
Cupcakes for Our Cupcake is in full swing on my end. I have not heard from any other Angel Bakers on their progress but maybe soon I will. Donations seem to be coming in from everywhere and we have been blessed already in so many ways. Thank you to everyone who has helped with that already. I pray that it continues to grow and prosper.
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
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